darkonebaby

Bobby (my ex) and I took Nevi out for Halloween.... (i'm so glad we moved into an area that there are neighbours around and sidewalks around so we can actually go out for Halloween unlike last year)

Nevi was dressed up as a fairy princess... my god she was sooooo adorable!!!!!!!! I was going to buy her a outfit from Superstore or Walmart but I ended up going with my parents to a place called Frenchies.... it's sorta like value village (a place where you can get clothes etc for a really cheap price) anyways I wasn't to happy about getting her outfit there at first as I wanted to get it from a normal store I shop at but when I found out the price I was happy... I bought her two outfits (one you could clearly tell was a princess outfit and the other one the one she wore on Halloween was a nice white dress so I guess it coulda been for anything really)

I had a pink headband that had butterflies on the atenna part but she didnt wanna keep it on lol. She wore a white dress and pink wings and carried a pink star wand.

We got 2 bags of candy.... I had to carry her around a lot as she is just a toddler and that was a lot of walking although I had the stroller with me so that helped. The weather was nice but it was kinda windy lol. I wore a devil outfit and Bobby wore a suit and painted his face up with a mafia style hat and horns on his hat... not sure what he was ... maybe a mob clown lol.

We ended up trick or treating with our friends Alex and Beth with their son and Beths 2 kids. I took a few pictures of Nevi but they were all inside the house none of them were outside which kinda sucks but it was kinda crazy trying to get ready for the big night and all. I did take a few videos too but they were short and not the best lol.

All in all we had a good night walking around. We started at about 5:30pm and stopped at about 9:00pm.... I went to Alex and Beths while Bobby took the baby home and stayed there until 11pm having some snacks and chilling out.

I cant wait for next year!!!!!!!

I was born and raised in Hamilton Ontario Canada. I lived there for pretty much my whole life. There were a few times that I left Hamilton to live in other places, like when I went to Victoria B.C for about a year with my Mom, I also went to stay with a friend of mine by myself to Saskatchewan for about a year, year and a half or so.

When I was 23 I moved out to Nova Scotia because my parents and Grandpa live out here and because at the time I was a few months pregnant and didn't want my family missing out on seeing their first grandchild being born. When I first moved out here my boyfriend and I were living with my parents in their basement. We lived there until a few months after my baby was born and then my Mom helped get us our first place.... not a place with friends or friends parents or our parents just a place that was ours.

The place that we got was in Annapolis Royal Nova Scotia. It was a apartment duplex which had 4 apartments to it. I quickly became friends with the lady that we were right next door to, her name is Dawn. I met Dawn a few times prior to moving in as the place we were living at there was the place I was babysitting at while I was still pregnant.... The person I babysat for knew my Mom from work and that's how she found out about the place being available.... and Dawn had come down a few times while I babysat just to talk about random things/keep each other company.

Anyways the place we moved into was a pretty nice set up... for me it was basically perfect (minus the poor state it was left in from the prior tenant) My Mom and boyfriend had to clean the place very well before we moved in.... I couldn't help because I was pregnant and Mom didn't want me near the cleaning chemicals or doing any hard work because of me being pregnant so I guess I lucked out there lol.

The place we moved into was a 2 bedroom place with a living room, kitchen and a bathroom. It was $550 all inclusive. We lived in that place for 5 months and then after the girl upstairs moved out we had talked about moving upstairs. We use to be friends with the girl upstairs but she turned out to be a bitch. We moved upstairs and new people moved into our place we just moved out of. The new neighbours were going to have a baby soon and Dawn has a child but she lives with Dawns Mom.

The place we moved into was all inclusive (all the places there are all inclusive) but the rent that we had to pay now was $525 just like Dawns because where Dawn lives has only 1 bedroom and where we had moved into had leaks like her place did. The place we moved into had a huge living room and 2 bedrooms a kitchen and bathroom. I loved the new place except that when it rained it would leak in our bedroom and in the living room, the ceiling in the baby's room slanted so you would hit your head off it and it made trying to furnish the room difficult but was able to be done.. There were bees that lived in our ceiling, the windows all had screen with holes and the window broke because the windows were crappy and we found different sorts of bugs like carpet beetles in our place all the time.... all the places had fleas because of prior tenants but we had gotten rid of all of them well before we bothered to move upstairs.... My Mom didn't know about the fleas etc but that's ok we fixed the issue fast.

We had talked and visited with the new neighbours which Dawn had previously known every now and then but then their friends started bullshit which made us all not talk etc. Since moving out of my parents place we had discussed moving into Digby because unlike where we were living in Annapolis there would be grocery stores, the bank, a mall with dollerama in it, fast food places and restaurants etc plus there would be sidewalks.... There would be that stuff too if we would have moved farther into Annapolis but other then where we were already living we didn't like Annapolis all that much. Where we were living in Annapolis we were right on the highway with no sidewalks... the only place we could go with the baby without having to worry about getting hit by a vechile was across the street down a path which I loved... it led to a little beach... I wish we still had that but we decided to move and with me constantly looking at grocery store bulletin boards etc I found an ad for a place in Digby.

The place I had found was posted in a grocery store called SuperStore. My fiancee and I (he got me a ring) were out looking at Halloween costumes at the time and I had just managed to look at the bulletin board while we were waiting for the bus to pick us up to go to our place in Annapolis and had found an ad for a place in Digby. The place listed in Digby was for $550 like our previous place was before we moved upstairs at the previous place but it also was listed as having free internet (which I was paying about $60 in Annapolis for that and it was also listed as having free cable which we didn't have at the places in Annapolis (minus the first few months we lived there as the previous tenant had not shut off her cable there) Another thing that was a benefit of the place in Digby was that we could have the use of a washer/dryer (which in our Annapolis place we couldn't as our place ran off of well water so it would have taken to much water to use a machine even though the previous tenant and the tenant that lives in the basement have access to a machine that no one else can use) And the place in Digby had a flat driveway but our place in Annapolis had a driveway that was really steep and would freeze completely in winter so that wasn't very safe for anyone.

My Fiancee, daughter and I went to look at the place in Digby with my Dad to see what it was like. I couldn't believe how nice it was, it was much better than I had thought it would be... even the landlady was really nice. The place had no faults really besides the bathroom cupboards being crooked (which my dad fixed) The only things I didn't like about the place was that my neighbour friend Dawn wouldn't live right by me, it's part of someones home so it's not like our other places where you had your own place and could be however you wanted as long as you wern't hysterically loud and the fact that there are no carpets except for the spare room (the room that previous tenants used as a computer room) Mom was already in Digby when Dad was driving us there... she was waiting out front of the place in her car so after we all went in to look at the place and she sat in her car with the baby we got her to come in and take a look at the place too. We all thought the place was really great. We were told that we could paint the bedrooms if we moved in and if we decided to move out that we wouldn't have to paint back over the rooms so that was a nice thing to think about too...(the landlady in Annapolis was suppose to give me pink paint for the baby's room but never did, among other things she never did...) Oh I really love being here too because a playground was just built so now Nevi can have somewhere to play and meet other kids at.

I thought about all the benefits/losses about moving and decided that we were going to move to Digby. we moved into our new place in Digby a week after the first visit with Mom and Dad. We have now been here in our new place for a week as of tomorrow. I am loving it. It's so nice to be so close to things like the grocery store instead of having to call Mom or Dad to help us or having to take the bus which costs $3.50 one way for one person (so it costs $7.00 each way for 2 people to go which means it would be $14.00 which we would always go into town together to just do our laundry at the laundry mat or to do shopping instead of how we can just walk or take the bike now to just get groceries as we have the machines here for laundry)

Mom and Dad have been over to visit a lot in the few days we have been here...much more then at the other place as Mom and Dad don't really have anything they need in Annapolis but have grocery stores etc they go to in Digby which is nice, they come over have a timmies with us etc.

Last night Bobby, Nevi and I all walked to the store and bought a pumpkin and carved it. We are all set for halloween... Nevi doesn't have an outfit cuz it will be too cold but she has wings a wand and a headband antenna so I guess she sorta has a costume... a princess.

More to come after Halloween... I hope.

It's Friday October 23rd at 2:56Am & Bobby is asleep on the living room couch at our place in Annapolis Royal. We went over to our friend/neighbours place downstairs from our place (Dawns place) and had a few drinks of pop mixed with some velvet royal whiskey and played about 6 rounds of the card game called "asshole" we chit chatted about random things and had a few laughs while Nevi was sleeping.

I am excited for Dawn as she will be moving into Bobby, Nevi & my old apartment which is right beside the place she's living in now.... it will be good because the place she's in now has a few leaks... as does the place we are in now (which use to be where Dawn lived once) Not only is it great that there wont be any leaks but it will also be great for her as the other place has 2 bedrooms instead of the place she's in now which only has 1 bedroom....which means she can use the other room as a room for her Daughter to play/sleep in when she comes over and/or it can be a spare room/storage room or even a computer room... so many new options!!! Dawn will have to pay an extra $25 dollars for the other place but it's well worth it.... the place she's in now as well as the place Bobby, Nevi & I live in now costs $525 all inclusive.... the place she will be moving into costs $550 all inclusive.

I went with Bobby & Nevaeh to pay the deposit (first months rent) on Wednesday October 21st 2009. The rent at the new place we are moving into on Saturday October 24th is $550 all inclusive which will be what Bobby & I use to pay at the place before the one we are moving out of now... the one our other neighbours are moving out of.... the place Dawns moving into.

I am sad, nervous, anxious, happy that we are moving. I'm happy because of the benefits for Dawn & her Daughter. I'm sad because I like how the rooms are set up here and I wont have Dawn close to hang with. I am nervous because I am not really fond of or good at big changes in my life and just how I am.... I worry about too much all the time... I also am anxious because I know there much more to do in Digby (where we are moving) as there's a playground that was just built there this month which Nevaeh can now go to, and we will be around all the fast food places, grocery places etc that we aren't that close to now. We have stuff like grocery places in Annapolis (where we are now but to get there we would have to take the bus first.... as there aren't any sidewalks from where we are now up to the stores in Annapolis) When we move we have sidewalks and we will be close enough to be able to walk to all the places we want/need to go to.

Right now in the place we are in we don't have cable and we have to pay for our internet.... at the new place we will have FREE internet AND FREE cable. That alone plus saving on bus trips to get grocery's and/or the money we would use to do laundry and/or the money even to go to town to cash our cheque's will be saved as everything we need is in town right close to where we will be at. The place we are at now is not allowed to have washing machines or dryers as the place we live at (including the other 3 apartments) runs off of well water..... the place we are going to has both machines there, so that again saves us money....

I found out that we cant go to the parent/toddler group in Annapolis royal anymore if we need someone that runs the program to drive us like they have been before as we will be living out of their area that they can drive people to/from the class which really sucks... unless we take the bus of course.... I hope we will do that to keep going instead of just not going to anything... there are classes in Digby we could go to though. I was told from the home visitor (the lady that comes every week/every other week to make toys for Nevaeh and discuss her development etc) that we are out of her area of people that she can work with which again really blows!!!!!! I like working/learning from Angie, she's really nice/funny and I can understand/relate to a lot of what she says etc.... I can continue that program as well but if I do I have to be seen by someone else and I don't think I want that as I am so happy with working with Angie... I will probably try the new person I get a few times to see if I can enjoy that program still but I feel in the end I will just end my participation... I know if it were solely up to Angie she would still work with me, ah well.

It's 3:37Am on Friday October 23rd 2009 now and all I can do is think about how much I wish this place was in Digby with either the way this place costs now and whats included in it or with the way it will be set up in Digby with not having to pay for internet or cable etc and I wish in a way that I had never found the add for the new place as I will miss Dawn and the way things were set up here etc... But I know Nevaeh will benefit as will Dawn and probably us to from moving. I am sure once we have moved in though and gotten things organized that everything will feel more right and things will be way better for all of us... just gotta get outta the first bit of craziness from packing/cleaning up/moving stuff etc.

Tuesday October 20th 2009 Bobby & I went to the post office in Digby and set up our new address so our mail will start getting transfered to where we will be etc. Instead of having a mailbox right at our place which I love we will know have to go to the post office and get our mail out of a post box... We have 2 keys for that and 2 for our place (but we don't have our place keys yet, that will come to us after we have moved in)

Bobby & I are talking about getting a phone hooked up for in the new place so hopefully we will have the money now to do it.... even just a basic local area landline would be nice so I can call my parent and/or Dawn and vise versa.

I am going to miss the big closet space we have here and the path to the beach.... we will have closets at the new place but I love these ones and we will be able to see the beach from our new place... the water anyways, but we wont have the path at the new place which I really love ... I will miss the horses that our current landlady has... just the fact that they are right by us...

I could go on and on but it's now 3:49Am and I should get some sleep as Nevaeh will get up at like 7Am (if that) and as I am getting kind of tired of typing as I have had another busy day of painting the current place we live at and cleaning up the place.... and the packing etc....

I am getting picked up from this place we live at tomorrow with Nevaeh by my Mom.... she is getting me so Dad don't need to as she is watching Nevaeh for the night so we can move the furniture etc into the new place.... Dad & I will play bingo and then after bingo is done he will be driving me back home for the last time probably (as he don't wanna make 2 trips to Digby for me to go/come back from bingo) and come Saturday morning Dad will be coming over to our place and helping us load the U-Haul truck.... We are going to make one trip from here to Digby (if all goes according to our plan) and get situated into our new place.... After that Nevaeh will be dropped off to us from Mom around 4Pm or so and from then on I will probably have to take the bus to Dads on Fridays and have him or someone that plays bingo that lives in or close to Digby drive me Fridays from Bingo to home... The bus that I would need to take me home from Bingo stops running before Bingo is over .... The last bus run goes past where I would have to walk up to catch it at around 8:30Pm.... Bingo ends at 9Pm or later (depending on how fast the caller calls etc so I hope I can get a ride from someone as I would hate having to walk to the bus stop in the cold/dark especially if I couldn't stay for the whole Bingo game.

It's 4Am.... Gonna do some last minute checking of facebook etc then lights out!!!!!!!!

I would be proud/flattered to do that for my best friend....

Ok so my fiancee and I moved into the other apartment awhile back now and these new people that were expecting a baby moved in to our old place. They kept to themselves mostly and since I am a stay at home mom and don't drive and am originally from Hamilton Ontario I thought it might be a chance to meet new people and possibly make some new friends. We hung out a few times and had the occasional small talk. I actually got to the point of thinking that it was okay to call them my friends. They acted like we were friends when there dog died and they needed consoling, they acted as though we were friends when they brought there newborn baby home from the hospital and were not smart enough to think of needing to have baby wipes at the house to clean the baby's butt with (like DUH what do u think u have a baby and don't need to wipe its ass??) they acted as friends when they wanted some alcohol from us etc. They told us a few months back that they were getting married in August of this month and I asked if we could go... not trying to invite ourselves but just inquiring if it would be okay to see them get married and share in there joy of their big day and they shrugged there shoulders sorta laughed and acted as though we could go or that it didn't matter if we went. The big day for them came and went and they never even knocked on our door to say they were going or anything. A day or so after the wedding I posted a comment on their facebook page saying basically "hey how come u didn't let us know when you were going we were hoping to see you on your big day hope it all went well and you got lots of pictures congrats again" anyways I received a nasty message back saying basically that "you don't invite yourself and why would we invite you etc" I was offended hell I didn't have to go but even just saying congrats before they left would have been nice. Now all Adam and Anna's friend Felicia do is write me messages on facebook about me and my fiancee that are not true and are very rude and now her boyfriend is starting to even Adam is saying stupid things. I am so sick of people like seriously I could have not bothered to call the vet and try to help out when there dog died or help give them baby wipes when they had none etc but I was trying to be a good person.... trying to be a friend.... I guess like the saying goes damned if you do damned if you don't really does apply to me. I wish they would all shut there mouths and keep their thoughts/opinions to themselves if its not true and if its mean etc. Don't look to me when you need help next. God I even got them low income housing papers to try to get them a better place. I am tired of stupid people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want and need to make some new friends way out here.... all my friends are in Hamilton.... Grrrrrrrrr.

ummm I get nervous?? lol.

I don't even recall what my last entry was about but anyways..........

I miss all my family and friends back home in Hamilton Ontario.... I haven't lived there for about 2 years come this December. I have had a lot happen to me in that time and have missed out in a few ways from being away from where I grew up..... then again there were and still are some advantages of not being back in my hometown. I hope I can go back there to visit my family and a few good friends soon but unless there is a death in the family I don't see that happening anytime soon ..... at least not this year unless of course I get sent out for Christmas holiday which would be kinda nice but then again who wants to visit where there from with a baby in the winter time??? its cold which I hate plus you cant do much and of course you have to put on extra clothing etc to stay warm etc.... I don't get to do much here due to business hours of some places and the bus schedule etc so if and when I get to visit my hometown I wanna be able to go out and do things hell even just walking around the familiar place would be great.

I live in a decent 2 bedroom place but am trying to get another 2 bedroom place or possibly a 3 bedroom place.... you never know what could happen.... I may have more kids who knows.... plus it's always nice to have the space even just for my child's stuff now etc. The place I want to get will be right around all the things I need to be around like the bank and laundry matt assuming the place I get doesn't come with its own facilities like that etc... where I am now I cant have a washer as the place I live at uses well water so it sucks big time doing laundry as I have to take the bus kinda far just to do it and with a baby etc its not easy.

I finally got the computer off of Mom a few days ago.... i'm still waiting on the cabinet it goes in and to get a computer chair....I am sitting on the couch now which is okay.. I may just stick with the couch or use a wooden chair as I don't know if I will be able to get a computer chair in my price range.... the computer cost me enough and I had a bit of help getting it. I got the computer, 2 speakers, a printer and a web cam..... Yesterday I got a really killer thing too... I got the internet hooked up on the computer. It's so great having my own nice computer with all that stuff and internet.... I haven't had internet since I lived with Roy and then lastly living with Tim. I have been so excited about the computer and was hoping to download some movies and maybe some music too but unfortunately I cant seem to get the right torrents plus I guess i'm missing a program or something needed for some if not all the movies i'm trying to get.... I have no clue.... If Roy was closer he could help me out but as it is I think i'm just Shit outta luck!!!!

One other thing that's been nice is that my Dads 2 brothers came out a few days ago and are staying out here until Thursday..... I was so excited and happy to see some family of mine that I haven't seen since before leaving Hamilton..... I have only seen them for a short while once since they have been here.... I hope I will get to see them again but if not it was nice while it lasted and at least they got to see my little one.... I hope they can see my place I live in.... for now anyways. They got to see my little one walk around etc so that's great.

My life as it is now is only really better for one reason......... having my parents involved in my babies life and of course having this baby.... I still wish things in my life were different but they never will be..... I will always regret introducing the 2 people I thought would and could never hurt me....

That's all for now....

I spoke to Roy on facebook last day or so trying to make him understand how he left me was wrong and hooking up with my friend shortly after didnt help. They both dont get it. Went on facebook yesterday and like the day b4 got a message from his mom telling me to give her these blankets she saw me by in a pic a few months after Roy left me saying they were hers but they are mine made for me by a friend of my moms before they moved years ago. Today I was sent more than one message saying really bad things and lies about me. Now his facebook is blocked and I guess his msn too as I cant message his account now and I no longer see him on my list. Roy if u read this I never took anything that wasnt mine. Sorry if ur mom thinks im a bad person im not. Please add me again and lets be friends and have Chi add me too I will be nice.

Well The pregnancy & birth went really well.... This being my first and hopefully not only pregnancy I have no other personal experience to compare with but for this pregnancy & birth there were no real big complications etc.

The only problems I had when pregnant were normal things and they wern't that bad I mean things could have been worse... I had swollen feet and fingers, my fingers ached and would get locked sometimes, backache, I lost my desire to eat sweets for about 3 months, didn't want to eat anything for about a week and a half but did, and had morning sickness for maybe 2 weeks or so on and off although I never puked it just felt like a flu but it wasn't that bad.

After having 3 different due dates and getting the gel 4 times to get the labour starting so my water could break and I could have the baby as nothing was progressing and actually I guess you could said I technically had 5 doses of gel as the 4th time getting it they gave me a double dose which finally got things going thankfully. It is kind of funny how things happened when things got going... I was sitting in my private hospital room and Bobby asked if I wanted to go for a little walk in the hospital... I got up and we went to the little gift shop downstairs...we were going to take our baby with us but we were not allowed to as apparently the nurses etc are worried about people taking babies off the ward floor as they think someone might run off with someone elses baby etc so that's sad but understandable I guess. We bought a little bib that says where she was born at on it and a pair of pink mitts as she kept putting her hands up to her face and scratching her face. We were only gone for a few minutes just long enough to buy that stuff after trying to make up my mind on what to get her and after getting ourselves a little something to snack on etc. When we got into the room after going to the gift shop I sat on the bed and Bobby went out to a room across the hall to make himself a coffee or something and when I sat on the bed all of a sudden it was wet....not a huge gush of water like in the movies and god i'm so happy for that and even happier that I didn't take any longer to make up my mind in that store lol that would of been so embarrassing!!!! it was more like I had just peed myself lol or sat in a little puddle in a curved seat of a chair. I heard him coming back into the room and I said "babe I think my water broke...he gave me a minute to make sure and I waited and a bit more water came so I said yea i'm pretty sure so you might want to get a nurse" Another funny thing was that my parents had left not to long before that to go to pizza hut for something to eat as my dad really misses that back in Ontario as they don't have that place close to where they live so he never gets to go anymore (not like he really went that much really at all before) but they were gone so after I knew for sure that my water broke I called them and told my parents the news it was funny that they went out to eat and had to rush back but it was all fine. It took about 6 hours of labour and the contractions wow did they get intense I almost had to get an I.V to get my labour started but thankfully I didn't as that would have made my contractions worse same if I would of had to get induced which I was suppose to but my cervix wouldn't open hence why I had to get the gel cuz nothing was happening and needed to start happening. After the 6 hours of labour all of a sudden I was 7 centimeters dialated and I was rushed into the delivery room. I got the epidural put in really quick and god I was so nervous towards the end of my pregnancy about getting that damn thing and being paralyzed for life but when it came time to get it done I felt the tiniest prick like maybe equivalent to a mosquito bite and then felt a light tapping feeling I guess you could say when he was changing the tubes or needle or whatever he does and that didn't hurt at all...he even said I would feel stinging or burning LOL I didn't feel any of that. It didn't hurt at all!!!! I feel dumb for being so freaked about it but how could I have known right?? Now I know so if and when I have any other children I will know more of what to expect. I got to sleep for a few hours amazingly although I don't know how lol people say you will after being in labour so long etc or sleep through contractions etc I didn't believe them but I slept and then was up in the morning and was okay.... only pain I was really complaining of then was the cathedar pain god I hated that and when I was feeling the contraction again as the epidural took all that pain away basically instantly it was glorious and then in the morning it came back but I could only feel it on one side in my back and it was the same damn spot everytime it came up rather annoying but yea the cathedar was really bad!!!!

Finally the time came to push. I was pushing a bit before I should of been which wont do anything if your body isn't having a contraction.... so when I had one I had to push and when I started making progress I wanted to push the button again but I didn't know if I could or should so I didn't It hurt and burned and I thought the baby would just keep sliding back down and not come out enough to actually be born but I kept pushing and thanks to the great coaching of my dad talking me through it all just being there for me it helped a ton and without the help of forceps or anything my baby was born in 17 minutes. Talk about a pregnancy and birth blessing!!!!

My baby is already a month old on the 27th of this month, I cant believe it, it's all happening so fast!!!! I wish I had more pictures of her just after she was born, more of her face and how little she appeared I also wish I had given h er my name as one of her middle names.

I am happy that I have her though... I couldn't really ask for more!!! I love you baby girl and cant wait to see how you grow and learn. xoxoxoxoxo love mommy.


My baby wasn't born in May which I was hoping for or even earlier in June as Mom and I wanted my baby to be a gemini like we are but the birth was at 8:47Am on the 27th so my baby is a cancer, oh well at least my baby was born healthy and yes I got the baby I have always dreamed of....a baby girl!!!!!!! so happy!!!!

On Friday June 27th 2008 at 8:47Am my baby was born. It was 6 hours of hard labour and it only took me 17 minutes to push her out without the help of forceps or anything. I got the baby I have always wanted... yep a baby girl. Her name is Nevaeh Mya Angelic (which is heaven spelt backwards and that 3 parts of the name means heaven my angel) so its Nevaeh Mya Angelic Jade Lori Barrett.

I am so happy that I was blessed to have a girl. I thought I was gonna have a boy. Mom and dad love her and were very supportive throughout the delivery etc. I dont htink I could have done it without them.

I love you baby girl and dont you forget it.

Well today is suppose to be my due date for my first child. I went to see my Doctor and my Obgyn last Tuesday and they said things were looking good. My Obgyn told me that since the baby is in the right position (thank god, as one time the baby was in the breech position) and as my water hasn't broken yet and that the baby hasn't dropped down yet that I will probably be late having this baby. It's 5Pm and so far it looks like I will not be having the baby today. I am glad I didn't have the baby yesterday lol Friday the 13th but I would like to have the baby on Fathers Day but I think I will be waiting a few days to maybe a week before the baby is ready to come out. I got asked on Tuesday by my Obgyn if I wanted to get induced (have my labour started by artificial means... probably be given an iv with pitocin in it - this a hormone that brings on labor - it makes your contractions steady so you can dilate. The medicine gradually increases to make your contractions come faster - after you hit 4-5 cm they will probably break your water which also makes labor pick up) I said no as I figured that the baby will come when he or she is ready to. I don't mind waiting a bit longer to have my baby but I have an appointment set up on the 21st to get induced if I haven't had the baby by then but I am sure I will of had the baby by then.

This pregnancy has gone well. I haven't had to many things to complain about really. Hell I didn't throw up once from morning sickness I just felt sick sorta like having the flu just start. I had to eat more and go to the bathroom more but that's normal obviously. My fingers, feet and toes have been swollen and my fingers have been sore and I have even been unable to close my hands into a fist and have had some of my fingers lock into place. The last thing that's been most recent that started in my 37th week of pregnancy I believe was probably the worst thing for me out of this whole pregnancy it was this rash I guess you could call it basically my tummy, thighs, feet, arms and legs itched like crazy it's like having the chicken pox and/or a ton of mosquito bites.... I tried to not scratch but it's so hard not to so I guess now other then having stupid stretch marks I will now also have scars all over from scratching so much. I scratched so much that I made my skin all red looking and even bled a few times as my skin was getting raw from me not leaving it alone. My doctor suggested using vitamin e cream or benedryl so I got the benedryl but it didn't help to much. I had a bit of trouble getting comfortable at night time after a certain stage in my pregnancy to be able to sleep as you know your belly gets bigger and you cant lie on your back or on your right side as it's bad for you and baby and hurts etc so it sucked cuz I wanted to lie on my right hand side but then I got use to laying a different way and even now I can still lie on my stomach it's weird. I never had hot/cold flashes that I can think of but I did have a few days where I smelt or tasted something that wasn't there lol weird. I could eat all the hot stuff I wanted and it didn't give me heartburn etc but now being at the end of my pregnancy some things that use to be hot to me aren't so I guess I will have to wait and see if that goes back to normal after the baby is here. One thing I am sad/upset about is that I never had any cravings unless you count the one day that I really really wanted juice. A really weird thing I experienced months back was that for about 3 months I had no interest in eating sweets of any kind or junk food but I guess that's no more stranger then the 2 week period I had at the beginning of my pregnancy where I didn't want to eat anything.

I am just glad that I am out of the place I was living before I mean I couldn't have raised a baby in that place it was bad!! Now I live in a nice clean place and have people that help me out that I know like family and people that help me out that I have only seen maybe once or twice so it's great to have support. I am sad/upset that I wont have any of my friends around for my baby shower and that my friends didn't get to see me throughout my pregnancy but at least I know they are still my friends etc. I am having the baby shower sometime after the baby is born so I know what I have already and need and because by then I will know the gender of my baby as I wanted it to be a surprise cuz who knows if and when I will have another child so best be surprised this time at least.

I am happy in a way that the baby isn't here yet as I still have to get the baby's room finished and as it's nice to have just myself to worry about in a sense but then again I want the baby here so I can get the pain of labour and delivery etc over with and so I can really see what my baby looks like instead of seeing the baby through ultrasound. I hope the baby looks like me!!! I hope I am having a girl but we will have to wait and see. I just hope I get to the hospital on time and that I will be a good mom.

More to come when baby is here....if there is any time to write about it.

Yesterday I had a appointment to see my Obgyn for the first time at 10Am so of course I had to get up at about 9Am so I could get there in time etc. When I got there I got stuck waiting in the waiting room for an hour and a half as there were a bunch of emergencies etc. Then When I got out of the waiting room and back where all the doctors offices were I figured I would be going in for my appointment but nope I got to sit on a chair in the hall and wait another 10 minutes or so and then finally a nurse started helping me out with the things that needed to be done. I got my blood pressure done first,then I had to answer a bunch of questions like usual like my age and my living situation etc then I had to do a urine test and last but not least until I saw the Obgyn I got to get weighed... oh joy. I was really rather shocked when I found out that I only gained half a pound this time as I have been gaining 5 pounds and 10 pounds etc. I am not dieting or anything as obviously that would be a very bad thing to do right now but I do go for walks that are about 30 minutes in length....and that's hard when your prego!!!!

After I did all that stuff I finally met my Obgyn, thankfully I got to see him at the place I go for my doctors appointments instead of how it was originally set up with a different Obgyn that works an hour and a half away from me god that would have been really annoying!!! This Obgyn that I have is really nice and very good at his job as is my doctor.....I wish I had female doctors but I will probably just stick with these people. Since the Obgyn didn't have my files from my doctor I had to answer yet again the questions they ask you like if I am a smoker and if I am married etc then I got to hear the babies heartbeat. When I went to lay on the table for that to be done the doctor saw my armpit as my arm was over my head and he asked to see my other one, I thought that was very strange but I raised up my other arm and he said that there's a bit of discoloration which could mean nothing but could mean that I could be insulin resistant so if I turn out to be diabetic from being pregnant that would really suck. I just have to wait and see as after he said that and told me my baby was for the first time so far that I have known of in the breech position (butt first) that I was suppose to have more blood work done other then then one time I had it done already. I knew I was suppose to have more blood work done but when I asked friends moms about it they said that was only if something was wrong but they were wrong and I was right.

I could have gotten the blood work scheduled for another day but figured I might as well get it done since I was already at the doctors for an hour and a half. When I went to get my blood work done the doctor there took this bottle full of orange liquid and poured it into a paper cup that was pretty big not like the little dinky cups used for water cooler machines. He tole me it was like orange pop but it had added stuff in it so it was super sweet. Apparently its to see how well my metabolism deals with it and to see if I am diabetic now as that apparently can happen when your pregnant. I don't know when I will find out the results but I hope it's soon and hope I am not diabetic now. After drinking the fluid I had to wait for an hour before I could do the blood work. When I finally got to do the blood work the lady doing it didn't find the vein and kept moving the needle around in my arm I nearly yelled and cried as it really really hurt and when done properly you shouldn't feel it. She took it out and did that to my other arm thankfully correctly that time so that took about 3 vials to fill and then since my ride my husband and I decided to walk until the bus came as it would have been a long time before the bus came. We ended up walking for probably 45 minutes and finally a bus came and by that time we were almost half way home.

After all that when we got home we went out with our ride from before and stopped for groceries, gas, a bite to eat at McDonald's, Wallmart where my husband and I bought a vacuum as our other one kinda died and we also went looking at a house we may end up getting. We did a lot of running around and finally we got a ride to where my doctors is again as in the basement of that place is where my parenting class is. I was glad to finally be going again as we have only had the one class and we didn't get to do much then etc. This time there was none of the people there that were there last time but new people this time and all we did was talk about baby stuff like labor etc, fill out one of the same sheets of info we did last time that had 3 questions on it like "what do you want to learn in this class" and then we watched 2 videos on labour and delivery. I can't wait for next Tuesday as we are going to be using matts to do breathing exercises etc.

My next prenatal appointment in May 6th and then on May 20th I have another appointment with the Obgyn but my Obgyn wont be at my doctors again until sometime in June so instead of going for an hour and a half to where he will be until then I will be seeing another Obgyn at my doctors office.

I went for another one of my prenatal doctors visits on Tuesday March 25th 2008 (the Tuesday that just passed) and I got to hear the babies heartbeat again and have to use that stupid little cup to well ya know... I got my tummy measured and it's 28.5 which corresponds to how far I am in my pregnancy like it should and I also got weighed and YAY I was so happy because instead of gaining 10 or more pounds like I have been this time I only gained 5 pounds, I think the walking I have been doing for 30 minutes practically everyday has been helping!!

I asked my doctor a few questions like if he could refill my folic acid prescription as i'm on my last bottle now and if that was to be empty without him refilling the prescription I would not have anymore when I needed them. I told my doctor about how the prenatal class i'm going to has this teacher that informed me of an obgyn/obstetrician that is at the hospital I see my doctor at so instead of going way way out of my way to see the person I was set up with already I could just go there which is WAY closer and easier for me to get to not to mention way cheaper too and that there was another doctor at another place nearby so he told me I would get a phone call if I could be switched to seeing the obgyn/obstetrician that would be closer to me and the next day I got a phone call so YAY that's one thing that will be a huge help!!! Some neighbor friends of mine lent me 2 back massager things a few days ago so I asked my doctor if that would be okay to use as I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to harm the baby and so I would know if I could use it on my whole back or just to use it on my upper back and to what degree of strength I could use it to. He reassured me that I can use it on it's highest speed and on my whole back without any issues so that's good.... the first massager is like a air mattress it's pretty neat in the sense that you can have it massage your neck, upper back, lower back and calves I believe and you can do that all at the same time or only have one or two things massaged and you can have it set to a fast speed or slow speed etc it even applies heat but the thing that makes me not like it would be the fact that for me the massage it offers is not strong enough to be truly effective. The other massager is my favourite kind ever made that I know of it is one that chiropractors use. It's a hand held massager and although this massager does not heat up which would be nice it offers a very nice range of speeds/intensities which for me ends up going pretty strong which ultimately is rather effective.

The last thing I asked my doctor about was something that I inquired about last time I seen him but last time I seen him the only thing I told him which at that point in time was the only thing bothering me was that my fingers were sore so he asked me if there was any swelling to which I said no but this time when I saw him I told him that my fingers were still sore and that now they are swelling and getting stuck to which he replied that I am retaining water and that it's normal and will like my new back pain that cant be cured with heat up back rub stuff go away after the baby is born but to keep an eye on my fingers. My doctor then said because of that and because it's partially how things are done that I need to come back in 2 weeks instead of how I have normally been going.

Tomorrow I am going for my last ultrasound. I am excited about it as everyone is going with me for it and as this one will be done not in black and white like normal but in an orange colour and it will be the most advanced one yet. I am sad about this ultrasound though because it's the last one and unless something is wrong with the baby or unless I pay a ton of money for the trip to the ultrasound place that does this particular ultrasound and pay a ton for the ultrasound done there then I wont have any more done. I am not paying for the ultrasound and pictures etc I am only paying for the heartbeat bear. Bobby is paying for the gas to and from the place which will be $80 and the cost of the ultrasound and pictures isn't being paid by us thankfully as it's going to cost $175 as far as we know and some other packages that are offered cost more then that. 4 People can see the live broadcasting of the ultrasound being done tomorrow as it's being done but I should of had these peoples email addresses in to the people doing the ultrasound earlier so I don't know if I can get this done still so lets hope. The people that are seeing it if everything goes well are Bobby's parents, my old nanny from years and years ago named Cristina, my old neighbors in Hamilton that were really nice to me named Bard and Robert and My best friend Lisa.... I would substitute Cristina's access for my other best friend to be able to see it named Gopher but he isn't online right now and I don't even know if it's to late or not to be accepted to do this now.

On Tuesday March 11th 2008 from 6:30-8:30Pm I Bobby and I attended our first prenatal class. We had to leave at 5Pm to get there on time as the bus is running on a weird schedule so we got to the hospital where it was being held at for 5:30Pm. Bobby went upstairs to fill his thermos with water as he brought some juice packets for us to have while waiting and being in the class and when he came back down to where I was he told me that Natasha (a girl he knows from work that I have been wanting to meet that gave me some baby socks) was upstairs) I wasn't going to go up as I was already settled in waiting for people to show up etc but I wanted to meet her as I wasnt sure if after this chance that I would get a chance to as she keeps telling me she wants to meet but it never happens. Bobby and I go upstairs and see her boyfriend in the waiting room. While waiting there the nurse says for me to go in with her as she assumed I was someone else which was kinda funny and odd but anyways the boyfriend ends up getting told he can go in to see his girlfriend and tells us we can see her after he does so he comes back out after telling her we are there and just then we were told why she was in there..... She had a miscarriage..... Talk about the worst possible way to first meet her. I felt so bad. I wanted to say more to her when I saw her but I couldn't think of much to say. She asked how I was and I didn't want to say good as she obviously could be doing better so I said I was ok and everyone started talking about me being pregnant which made me feel bad as here she was with a failed pregnancy and there I was doing fine. I told her the guys were joking about things I could do to ease the pain when I deliver and as soon as the word deliver came out of my mouth I felt even worse. This would have been her second child. I could tell she was in physical pain I hope she is okay. After a few brief minutes talking to her and listening to everyone we left to go back to the room to wait for the class to start.

Bobby and I were the first people there but shortly after arriving we met the nurse practitioner that was running the class. The nurses name is Kathy and she is really nice/informative.

When the class began There was only Bobby, myself and one other couple... We waited for a few minutes then decided to go ahead and start and sure enough after we finished the first activity another couple showed up so we had to get them caught up. The first thing we did was put on name tags so the nurse etc would know who we were and then we each got a piece of paper that had 4 questions on it and we had to interview someone in the room to get their answers (which I wasn't to thrilled about as I don't like interaction with people, damn anxiety!!!!) The things we had to get answers to were.....
1. What is your name?
2. When are you due?
3. Who is your doctor?
4. In 3 words describe how you feel about being pregnant.

After that we were given a blank piece of paper and told to write down everything we ate from 7Pm the night before up until the previous time (to give us an idea of how we are eating so we know what needs improvement if anything) I noticed like I have been lately anyways that I have been eating a lot of stuff from the meat group so I need to work more on getting my fruits and vegetables. After we finished that we were given a bunch of papers to keep that had information that can help us like the canadian food health guide and papers telling us why we should have things like folic acid etc. There were a ton of papers!!! Thank goodness my doctor had previously given me 2 pregnancy books that the class was given as they were pretty big and I already had so much paper to bring home from the class so that was 2 less items to worry about. We then discussed what we hoped to get out of attending a class like this and stuff like that. After all that was done we watched a 30 minute video on stuff like morning sickness and what you can do to relieve it etc so that class was pretty much a get to know you type meet. We were told that we would not be getting anywhere near that amount of paperwork etc again so that's good.

I am the farthest along in pregnancy out of our group so far unless other people decide to show up. The other girls are due in August & September.

Bobby participated in the activities which was nice and he also voiced his thoughts on things like when asked what kind of milk is the best for us to be drinking etc I even spoke up which is odd as I hate doing that kind of thing. I was nervous as hell but I made an effort. I don't know how many classes we will have or when the next one will be as all the people that attended the class have very crappy work schedules making it hard to set a day that works for us all and seeing as how Bobby only gets 2 days off and the one day he gets off doesn't work for us with the bus schedule the only day we can really go is on Tuesdays.